When you have a beast that needs feeding

That keeps you locked up and chained inside

Trying to keep it a secret

Trying to run and hide

From the truth

That’s staring and glaring you in the face

That you’re always out of

Living in a separate, disjointed place

In an empty space

In your bubble

Out of reach

Out of touch

With reality

Losing your grip

And your sanity

It doesn’t care what it gets

Lager

Cider

Guinness

Wine

Whisky 

Vodka

Grappa

It really couldn’t care less

As long as it gets something

As long as it gets fed

As long as its appetite is sated

Its thirst is quenched

Drenched

Steeped

And soaked

As long as it gets you out of your head

That you dive and delve further into

For a while.

When you have a beast that needs feeding

You are its slave

You are at its behest

It doesn’t make a request

It demands

Feed me Seymour

Feed me!

That’s not enough

Gimme more!

Until you’re scrabbling around on the floor

Picking through the dust and the dirt

Searching for a crumb

Bingo!

Rifling through pockets

In the hope of finding a gift that’s fallen out

Hallelujah!

Searching for the odd few nub ends you haven’t smoked right down to the roach

Soaked and rotting in your outside ashtray

The soil

Drying them out

Heating them up

Taking them apart

This is a subject

A disgusting, filthy habit

You really don’t want to broach

Rooting through the bin

Trying to find a skin

With something left in

Amid the egg shells

You’ve walked on tentatively

The leftovers and detritus

Of yesterday’s life.

When you have a beast that needs feeding

It’s like a dog with a bone

Pick up the goddamn phone

I just can’t leave it alone

This scab

I have an itch and it needs to be scratched

Now!

It’s out of control

That you were once in

You’re still functioning

Just about

A caged tiger

With a mouse’s squeak for a roar

Pacing back and forth

Until you’re clawing at your skin

Why, oh why, oh why

Why on earth did I let you in?

All this hanging and waiting around

To score

I don’t want to go through this rigmarole anymore

I need it

And I need it now

I’m fed up of playing these crazy, stupid games

Hook me up already

Feed it intravenously into my veins

Just put me on a drip

So I have a constant supply.

What started off as a social animal

Keeps you shut away behind closed doors

With its long grasping paws

That hold you down by the shoulders

And throttle you around the neck

Of the bottles

Running empty and clear

The darling green, green buds of home

That glow

And pulse

And pull

With their magnetic draw

Ever closer and near

Up

Down

Up

Down

It’s constant and it’s tiring

My brain will need serious rewiring

To get this beast to stop

To throw this clinging monkey off my back

To become the organ grinder again

The master of my destiny

With a future I want to keep

That’s not bleak

That is not dogged by sleep

Walking through life

In a zombie daze

A purple haze

To run with the brave new wolves

Rather than sticking with the sheep-filled pack

Though painfully separated from the fold

Set apart from the flock

Dressed up in black.